Newsletter Novelist Gifts

"No need to push...most of it will be in the staff newsletter!"

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

The DaVinci Code

Reading my Critics

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Honoré de Balzac

Jean-Paul Sartre

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

John Bunyan

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"Author does not do tricks."

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

Sue the Author 3PM

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Iris Murdoch

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Thomas Hardy