Raven Reader Gifts

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

The Raven in Flight

Mad Hatter's tea party.

Pirates

Good boy

Ok, ok, last page.

"For goddness' sake, Poe - let the bird in so we can all get some sleep!"

The Daily Fury

'We should have removed that sign.'

A not-so-bright vampire with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

'I've checked his appointments. The only opening is for 'nevermore'.'

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

"Sometimes, late at night, I do wonder, 'is he laughing at me or laughing with me?'"

'Nevermore.'

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

Edgar Allen Prozac

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

Edgar Allan Poe

'Hello, my name is Death'

Wash and Go...to hell...

"The butler did it!"

"How's this? 'Quoth the Raven, Nevermore, unquoth.' "

Edgar Allan Poe

Desert Island Books

Boss, I have a question to ask you, but I'm pretty sure I already know what your answer is going to be. Ask away, minion. Can I have a day off each week to catch up on all the "Star Wars" novels and comic books that tie into the upcoming movie? Of course, Rudy. Who am I to stand in the way of your education in the proper role of a boss and his employee? Wait ... Are you talking about the Emperor and Darth Vader? Excellent training manual, if you ignore the lame social justice warrior parts.

"Vote the Raven: 'Never Trump!'"