Ramen Gifts

"The Maruchan Candidate"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Harsh Mellows.

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

Snow Crime

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

Home Sweet Sign

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

The First Roast Chicken.

'Hey, look at this beauty... Man, I love those crunchy, well tanned sweethearts!'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

Rooms for Rent - No Larvae.

"Haven't you got anything that hasn't been regurgitated?"

Marshmallow Roast

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

"I'm leaving you for someone who does care what we have for dinner."

"It's a sprain in your left porterhouse."

Tonight... Dine At The Terror Room

"I think you have to leave it in for ten minutes per pound."

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

'How romantic.'

Waiter, there are tiny bubbles rising to the surface of my clam chowder. Conclusion" there's a flatulent fly in my soup. ? ?

"Hurry, dear, it's the Brutal Gourmet."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

Beggars on the street.