Raising Young Children Pillows

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

Grounded

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

Toddler Feeding Solutions

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

"At least she's reading."

Pinata good bags.

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

A father comes home from work and is given a baby.

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

"Act your birth order!"

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

Excess Baggage: The younger the traveler, the greater the amount of luggage required.

Early Night Club

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

'Quick! Look cute!'

"I haven't been in a playpen yet that could hold me."

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

''D' is for 'Despair'; 'E' is for 'Exhaustion'.'

"We couldn't find a sitter."