Railway Fan Gifts

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

"Come on. We've got to get our business on-line"

'You know, I think the 9:35 was my train. And here I was waiting for the 2135.'

The Little Engine that Couldn't Care Less

Accident

Man pushes stalled car off railroad track just in time! (sort of)

Magician can't find his ticket.

Jimmie Rodgers

'What zip code are we in now?'

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

Caliologist

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

"At this time I'd like to welcome our gold-medallion passengers on board."

In addition to dusting crops, McWit now rotates them.

Safest Airline in The World

Ancient taxi

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

Migration Music

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

"Circumstances being what they are, I've redesigned the logo."

Bev puts on an old favorite

"Looks like you've got some competition."

Inflatable car

'Well, if they don't go chuff chuff anymore. . . how do they go?'

Pound sign on rail tracks.

"I forgot I was on automatic pilot and crashed into the church steeple!"

Airbus

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'