Railroad Fan Gifts

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

"Actually, it doesn't contain a train -- just two stations, some track and a bunch of little plastic people standing around with clenched fists."

Train

"You were around the tracks when you got tagged?"

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

Centaur Sprinter

"We've been working all the live-long fiscal year to get these numbers up, but I'm afraid some of us are working just to pass the time away."

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'Well, if they don't go chuff chuff anymore. . . how do they go?'

'I believe you were first.'

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

Railway 'King' George Hudson

Pound sign on rail tracks.

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

"I call it the 'Call Bell', to be rung only for emergencies, like, running out of Coke or something."

The Race

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

The light rail system is reaching the downtown business core too quickly!

'When I started this journey I was a curate.'

The Little Engine...who gives up: 'I know I can't.'

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

End Of The Line

Sprinting speeding ticket