Railroad Fan Pillows

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

"Actually, it doesn't contain a train -- just two stations, some track and a bunch of little plastic people standing around with clenched fists."

Train

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

Centaur Sprinter

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'Well, if they don't go chuff chuff anymore. . . how do they go?'

'I believe you were first.'

Railway 'King' George Hudson

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

Pound sign on rail tracks.

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

"I call it the 'Call Bell', to be rung only for emergencies, like, running out of Coke or something."

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

The Race

The light rail system is reaching the downtown business core too quickly!

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

'When I started this journey I was a curate.'

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

Prisoner does Shot Put with an Ankle Ball and Chain

'When you asked me to follow your husband at work you didn't tell me he was a Formula One driver.'

Sprinting speeding ticket

'...that's a bit different for 8:45!'

Man pushes stalled car off railroad track just in time! (sort of)

"Now, don't move, I'm going to practice my high jump and need a good landing mattress..."