Race Track Fan Pillows

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

The polar olympics

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

Formula One car origami

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

Pig Trotter

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

Centaur Sprinter

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

1st Place in the Egg and Spoon Race

The high jump before Sir Isaac Newton discovered gravity.

"I want to report a race crime.'

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

'I believe you were first.'

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

Only horse I know that likes to start out of the crouch. 6 3.

Fast food

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

The Race

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

Birds watching car race wishing they had wheels.

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

Dog Scalextric

"Change down you fool! You can't hit a hairpin at that speed!"

NASCAR TIRE CHANGE

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'