Track And Field Fan Pillows

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

'How'd you wind up with two batons?'

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'Just keep running straight until you reach the end. Can't miss it.'

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

Triple Jumper.

'Who was the fastest runner in history?'

Pole Vault

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

"Now, don't move, I'm going to practice my high jump and need a good landing mattress..."

'The bar's gone up to six foot six.'

Good Year Blimp.

Prisoner does Shot Put with an Ankle Ball and Chain

A disappointing third place.

'Next time aim to vault OVER the bar.'

Blind pole vaulting

"Quick, which way to the toilet?"

A long jumper reaching 18.

'Nice try, Matteson.'

He's the greatest pole vaulter of all time! That's an over-the-top statement.

Centaur Sprinter

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

The polar olympics

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

Automatic swing machine

Formula One car origami

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"