Railway Gifts

Irish Porterbeing unhelpful to a passenger

The Annual Trainspotters Club Picnic

No Smoking . . . No Mobile Phones . . . No looking out of the window.

'You're buggering with my legacy BoJo!'

"Conjoined twins were born in a bed on a passenger train. They were separated at berth."

The year is 2064 AD. . . HS2 still over budget.

"I didn't know they were building a new road here."

"I'd like the 'Railway Times' magazine, please."

Site for HS2: Caution - May Contain Newts

"Owing to cutbacks the 20.19 service will not arrive until 2021 - probably about June."

Red Indians patiently waiting for what they think is television to be switched on, on an American locomotive.

"He lost his Season Ticket."

RMT negotiations - "I see no Shapps."

'Dam! These high speed trains they make a mockery fo train spotting.'

Trainspotters.

Accident

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

Grimms' Subway Tales

Ticket office modernised

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

Replacement Bus Spotters.

A trevor of trainspotters

'Have you been waiting long?'

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

Latest Railway Marvel.

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

HS2

Sushi Train Spotters

"The cost of HS2 was 115 billion, but that was when we started the interview. It's 130 now!"

Run from the hills!

An Appreciation