Railway Systems Gifts

Waiting and waiting and waiting room

"Working from home was a great idea in theory, but it probably wasn't a great idea to let the drivers do it!"

Strategic Rail Authority to Richard Branson - 'I'm afraid you'll have to stand, all the seats are taken.'

HS2

Train Tracks

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

A trevor of trainspotters

'Have you been waiting long?'

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

Run from the hills!

An Appreciation

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

HS2 time bomb...

S**t Creek Halt

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

"We've been working all the live-long fiscal year to get these numbers up, but I'm afraid some of us are working just to pass the time away."

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

L.A. Transfer

Coupler Counselling

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

'It's so called because I expect the ticket prices to rocket!'

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

Executive Lifestyle

'it's a special for nostalgia buffs.'

What Holds the Subway Together?