Rail Company Owner Gifts

'Upward mobility: "Hi - I own the train".'

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'Gerald, it's so nice to see you finally getting closer to your employees.'

The Cat's Alarm Clock

'Behind every great business deal is a company lawyer advising against it.'

Green Energy used to power polluting industries

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

'Someday son, all this will be yours to argue with the Environmental Protection Agency over.'

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

'How often does the boss visit the plant?'

Business revolution begins.

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

"The worst thing about selling 51 percent of my company is that I can't walk around like I own the place."

'Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some are allowed to work for great men like me.'

"It's the stock brokerage company again. Some of their investment picks have gone through the roof again."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"Conjoined twins were born in a bed on a passenger train. They were separated at berth."

Executive Lifestyle

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

My Holdings So Far

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

'Someday all this will be yours.'

The Big Cheese

Man wearing a 'Manufacturing' float ring hesitates beside empty 'Qualified Labor pool'

Trainspotters.

The subway-delay prophet of doom

Train Arrivals

"I understand, Mr. Osborne, take HS2 off and replace with 'Oriental Express'."

Accident

Dog statue being unveiled at a fire hydrant company opening

'All our effluent is green. Shouldn't that win us points with environmentalists?'

"Where do you see yourself in five years time?"

"£38,000 in consultancy fees and 'sell more stuff' is the best you can manage."