Raid Planner Gifts

Popular Viking travel writing.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

'What a control freak!'

Tsunami Evac Route

'That Brown bears watching!'

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"And then yesterday, I had an epiphany: The best way for me to overcome my paralyzing fear of a global ecological/economic collapse is to find a way to turn it into a lucrative career!"

"Remain calm and list your goals in order of priority."

'Darling, I told you not to call me at work.'

'I'm taking no chances.'

GPS HIghway to Hell

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

Saving up for a rainy day.

"He's all business during the week, but on weekends he displays a playful humor."

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

"Personally, I don't trust weathermen. They change their story every day!"

Point A / Point B

"No, Mr Cummings, I haven`t dealt with the accounts file yet. I`m getting to it as quickly as I can."

Exit next left. No, my left.

'Road Construction Updates. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

"Today our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington."

"Leave me alone, I'm prioritizing my week."

The end of the world is nigh - Get your specially adapted clock here