Raf Personnel Gifts

'I said - we can't even cover our ears!'

'Rabbit Leader here, No, you may NOT return to base because your sock keeps botching up,'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Servicemen.

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Busy office.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

Sales.

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

Around here it got a little tricky...

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'And Steven here takes care of the donkey work.'

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'