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"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Books recommended by Oprah and Howard Stern.

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

"First caller is Rudolph, from the North Pole, you're on Rudolph. What's your problem?!. . . And before you speak, lt me just remind everyone that I spent ten years as a detective specializing in tracking down prank callers and mercilessly destroying their self-esteem."

"Frankly, that sounds like the sort of thing a cat would say.."

"You may have heard me on 'Fresh Air with Terry Gross.' I'm Terry Gross."

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie?'" "Are America's best days behind us?" "Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in grade school when the schoolmarm told little Jebediah Thistlewood to pull up his knickers. The next day, Jebediah's pa came to school and said 'In my day, a man was free enough to wear his trousers 'round his ankles if he wanted to. This used to be one humdinger of a country.'" "I still have no idea what he was talking about." "I don't even remember what I asked you."

Rest in hate

"For what? Nothing makes a self-righteous person happier than having a reason to think their sense of propriety is superior to someone else's."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?" "I met a lady a while back." "We're both stuck in marriages we don't want to be in. We'd rather be together but we don't have the courage to end things." "What do you mean 'courage?' Ending things isn't 'courageous,' it's cowardly." "Courage means not running from misery, but embracing it, becoming its master, and delivering it upon all those around you with a vengeance."

'... And now for this week's episode of, 'the fallen arches'.'

'A good question. Actually I got into business when some conservationists up in Canada tagged me with a tiny radio transmitter.'

"It's the Dr. Sadie advice hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking nothing but Christmas-related calls."