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'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

Jerry Springer

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

The Great Larrynx

'Actually, I haven't written it yet, I'm doing the promotional tour first, to see if being an author is the right career move for me!'

'I don't trust the government... what if we ask Oprah to bail us out instead?'

'...But I confessed to Oprah...isn't that in there?'

"Frankly, that sounds like the sort of thing a cat would say.."