Radio Talk Enthusiast T-Shirts

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Brexit. I'm old enough to remember before the European Union existed. I witnessed its creation. It was historic. But now it's falling apart and if it does, well then what I witnessed wasn't all that historic after all. Way to make it all about you. It's like it was all just one big tease.

You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! Medicare. I heard Congress may gut it. But I can't afford insurance. Excellent question. Reminds me of the time I was a rodeo clown in Texas, in the early fifties. There was this man who came to every show in a futile pursuit of affections. I told him "I'll go out with you as soon as you provide healthcare for every old person in America." Years later, he came to me and said "How about now?" and I said "I was only joshing, Lyndon. Get lost."

What's your question, caller? I took your recommendation to read the thriller Hooked. I hated it. I thought it was convoluted and the characters were thin and the dialogue was stupid. What do you think of that, old bag? Fair enough. Let me suggest another title. Try: Go suck an egg by the writer Kiss my grits! Is it in paperback?

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'I'm Bored'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

'I think I've found what's causing the radio's funny buzzing sound.'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

Randi Rhodes

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

Feelings towards radios #2 Picket signs with pictures of radios on them

Ask Sadie is back. You're on, caller. What's your problem? My wife finally answered my emails. She wants me back. She says she's sorry she left me for her personal trainer. She said making mad, passionate love to him has become unfulfilling. She said she's tired of the excitement, tired of his fancy house, tired of the lavish trips around the world, and tired of him not snoring like a jackhammer, like I always do. Let go and move on, you ninny!!! She said she's especially tired of his ability to

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

'Stay tuned for a surprising new health study regarding...'

Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Cleveland. What's YOUR problem?! My deadbeat brother-in-law won't leave. What do I do? For six months, he's been sleeping on my couch, watching my tv, and drinking my Dr. Pepper. Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Stalin liberated Eastern Europe and then didn't leave for 44 years. You're going to need a massive arms race, a containment strategy, and Sylvester Stallone. Now he's using my toothbrush.

Rush Limbaugh, Balloon Boy.

Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Donald Trump's Inauguration. Specifically, we'll talk about how most of the big starts asked to perform for him refused to do it. We'll also be talking about how yours truly won the blue ribbon at the 1928 Jr. Miss Flapper competition at the "And How!" speakeasy for my rendition of "Bug-Eyed Betty is the Bees Knees." Trump called me, but I refused to perform too. But I gave him the third runner-up's contact info. Trump, Bessie Ma

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'

'A sure-win radio talk show. People phone in with questions on existence and reality, and you respond with total silence.'

Doctor to mom about kid: 'Hey - 104.5? Your kid's temperature happens to be my favorite radio station!'

Dr.Phil McGraw

John Peel

The reception here is awful!

"That's not my political opinion. That's just stuff I hear on the radio."

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! The price of oil is plummeting. So why're all my stocks doing so badly? I own 500 shares of Big-Box-Store Inc., 300 of Useless-Crudco, and 400 of Mindless-Consumerism Conglomerated. With gas prices so low, people have a lot more money to blow on consumer goods, so the market should be booming! I don't get it! First of all, oil is falling because there's too much supply. And having too much gas is never a good thing. Wait ... this isn't "Money Talk"?

Sir, bad news. I don't like getting bad news. A new radio program called Ask Sadie is getting huge ratings. Do I own it? That's the bad news. I see. Time to buy Ask Sadie. Queue sinister music. Can you guess?