Radio Talk Show Enthusiasts Prints

Ask Sadie Advice Hour, what's your problem?! Could you explain your joke for the other day about the flying squirrel and the great acorn. Nothing doing. Jokes are never funny once they're explained. Please? I'm sure I'll still find it funny. Sigh. Fine ... When I said my ancestor was a flying squirrel who prayed to the great acorn to get rid of the triceratops who were trampling her magnolias, I was implying that that's why the asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs. That's not funny. I will hunt you

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

Jerry Springer

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Orca Winfrey interviews Meghan Mackerel.

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

'I wish someone would finally make that Oprah Winfrey shush! I would but I can't find the remote.'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

Ask Sadie is back. You're on, caller. What's your problem? My wife finally answered my emails. She wants me back. She says she's sorry she left me for her personal trainer. She said making mad, passionate love to him has become unfulfilling. She said she's tired of the excitement, tired of his fancy house, tired of the lavish trips around the world, and tired of him not snoring like a jackhammer, like I always do. Let go and move on, you ninny!!! She said she's especially tired of his ability to

The Great Larrynx

I think I may have a Jekyll-and-Hyde personality, Dr. Kapuchnik. I'd say you're more like Dr. Demento and Mr. Potato Head, Al.

the Morning Joe team.

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry. What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance? Simple solution: send your mother to Japan where their entire culture reveres the elderly. Sayonara, grandma!!! Are you sure that's not a just a stereotype? Who cares?!

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

'Actually, I haven't written it yet, I'm doing the promotional tour first, to see if being an author is the right career move for me!'

Shirker ant.

"Frankly, that sounds like the sort of thing a cat would say.."

'...But I confessed to Oprah...isn't that in there?'

Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Donald Trump's Inauguration. Specifically, we'll talk about how most of the big starts asked to perform for him refused to do it. We'll also be talking about how yours truly won the blue ribbon at the 1928 Jr. Miss Flapper competition at the "And How!" speakeasy for my rendition of "Bug-Eyed Betty is the Bees Knees." Trump called me, but I refused to perform too. But I gave him the third runner-up's contact info. Trump, Bessie Ma

Months ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, I think you should laugh, love, and go with the flow - and do that with gusto! Don't sweat the small stuff. Kiss all the girls. Boys or whichever you prefer, but remember to laugh. - Bob. Pervert! If we allow laughing, then we'll have to allow cackling. Maybe even guffawing. I refuse to go down