Decorate their room or office with our vibrant prints that capture the humor and spirit of radio talk shows—ideal for fans who like to keep the conversation going even when off-air.
You're on, caller. What's your problem?! Today's my dad's 90th birthday. I got him a cake. I used 90 candles to spell out "Happy 90th, from your 'goof-up' son who can't ever do anything right. I organized this whole huge party. NOW what do you think of me, pop?" The candles flared up and burned his house down. What's your question, caller? Should I tell him I forgot to renew his home insurance?
You're on, caller. What's your problem?! I'm tired of all my liberal friends saying they want to move to Canada. Every four years, when liberals don't vote and lose ground in Congress, liberals say they're moving to Canada, which already has all the stuff they wish we had. Sometimes I think the only way I can make sure I never again hear someone say "I'm moving to Canada," is if I move Canada. "The North American Paradox." That makes me a hypocrite. I'm not sure they allow hypocrites in Canada.
Ask Sadie is back. You're on, caller. What's your problem? My wife finally answered my emails. She wants me back. She says she's sorry she left me for her personal trainer. She said making mad, passionate love to him has become unfulfilling. She said she's tired of the excitement, tired of his fancy house, tired of the lavish trips around the world, and tired of him not snoring like a jackhammer, like I always do. Let go and move on, you ninny!!! She said she's especially tired of his ability to
What's your question for Ask Sadie? Should I invest in crypto? Only if you're a nincompoop who can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Besides I was always more partial to Comet the Horse, Streaky the Cat and Beppo the Monkey. Krypto was the most unimaginative pet Superman ever had!!! What? What?
Today's guest will discuss his narcissistic personality disorder. This relentless spotlight-hog drove everyone from his life! Click. Hey! He sounded interesting. How come you turned it off? I'm not giving him the attention. That's learn him!
"Welcome to Ask Sadie. You're on, Vancouver. What's your problem?" "I met this really cool guy who makes my toes go numb..." "...but I'd already been talking to another guy. The thing is, I want them both. Is that selfish?" "Excellent question." "This reminds me of the time I went to the Sizzler salad bar. I wanted both the ranch dressing and the vinaigrette. So what I did was, I poured both of them all over my lettuce at the same time." "Metaphor." "No, just two." "...Wait...what?"
Adam and Eve on a Talk Show
"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"
My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!
'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'
"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"
Men discussing a book on a chat show
"Well I think the Real question is..."
"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"
"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."
What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? What's with that senseless riot in Baltimore? What do you mean? America has a long history of self-destructive riots in response to police brutality. It's senseless to call it senseless. A city is like a human body. If you feed a body an awful diet of abuse and unaccountable cops, that body's eventually going to have a massive coronary. In short: Learn your history! And eat oatmeal! Oat ... What? What are you talking about?
Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.
"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."
"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"
Books recommended by Oprah and Howard Stern.
"Emotional breakdown! Call Oprah!"
I think I may have a Jekyll-and-Hyde personality, Dr. Kapuchnik. I'd say you're more like Dr. Demento and Mr. Potato Head, Al.
What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry. What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance? Simple solution: send your mother to Japan where their entire culture reveres the elderly. Sayonara, grandma!!! Are you sure that's not a just a stereotype? Who cares?!
As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.
"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"
'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'
It sounds like you've been watching Dr. Phil again, Al � bad idea. Dr. Phil provides a service, Dr. Kapuchnik: he makes you seem like less of a pompous, overbearing know-it-all.
Retired Talk Show Host.
Life is better with a laugh track and graphics.
Welcome to the Ask Sadie Show, Christmas-Eve eve edition. First caller is Rudolph, from the North Pole. You're on, Rudolph. What's your problem?! ... And before you speak, let me just remind everyone that I spent ten years as a detective specializing in tracking down prank callers and mercilessly destroying their self-esteem. Click. I will ruin you, "Rudolph"!
It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Fed up in Flint," you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java.net Cybercafe. I bought a dirt-cheap house in Flint, hoping to rent it out. I had it renovated, and then the day before our open-house, someone broke in and stole all our plumbing. So what?! In my day, nobody had plumbing! We did our business in a ditch down by the river and we were glad about it! List it as "vintage Americana" and quit yer complainin'! But they took the roof, too. In my day, a roof
"Frankly, that sounds like the sort of thing a cat would say.."
Conan O'Brian
"Any chance Piers Morgan's available?"
Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Kenosha. What's your problem?! I'm a grad student pursuing my PhD. in robotics. Under the recent tax plan that passed the House, I'd have to count my tuition waiver as income, even though I never received any actual money. This would put me in a higher tax bracket and I'd have to drop out because I could never afford to pay those taxes. Good riddance, Poindexter. Science is nothing but gobbledygook anyway. Studies have shown that's not the case.
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