Radio Show Fan T-Shirts

"That's not just my opinion. It also happens to be the opinion of some guy on NPR."

"And now to present the arguments for chlorinated chicken. . ."

"You may have heard me on 'Fresh Air with Terry Gross.' I'm Terry Gross."

'Well Mr Salmond why have you continued to pursue the very unpopular wind turbine policy all over Scotland?'

'This is your lucky, lucky day - your very own island getaway can be yours today...'

"Frankly, that sounds like the sort of thing a cat would say.."

"For what? Nothing makes a self-righteous person happier than having a reason to think their sense of propriety is superior to someone else's."

"'Ask Sadie Advice Hour' what's your question?"

Ask Dr. Sadie. Dear Sadie, I've been working my tail off at school, and am having a hard time forcing myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour. Can you give me some tips for achieving sound sleep? Signed, Ryan. Ryan, here's an idea: Stop wasting your time writing in asking for advice!! Don't stay awake worrying you're a loser. There's nothing you can do about it. Asksadieshow@gmail.com

I'm your ghost twitterer. It's a marketing vehicle for your radio show. You're stealing my identity because if you used your own, no one would follow your tweets! You've got 3,000 followers. They're living to read about your every movement. Beating on pause. Beating on pause.

What's your question for Ask Sadie? Who do you thin has the best fries? McDonald's or Arby's? That depends. Which one is still fried in cattle grease? I know one or the other of them caved in to the anti-clogged-arteryists and switched to vegetable oil years ago. Health-fetishists ruin everything! Health isn't bad. Health is like everything else, too much of it is unhealthy!

It's the "Ask Sadie Advice Hour." "Mad in Montauk," you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java .net Cybercafe. My husband and I are getting divorced, and it's gotten bitter and angry. The problem is, we have 43 mutual friends on Facebook, and he's being so unreasonable about which ones are rightly his. You're arguing over custody of your Facebook friends? What the @#$% is wrong with you people?! Obviously, they're all yours. Everyone knows it's usually the woman who created the friendships i

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry. What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance? Simple solution: send your mother to Japan where their entire culture reveres the elderly. Sayonara, grandma!!! Are you sure that's not a just a stereotype? Who cares?!

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? What'll it mean if Trump ends up winning? Excellent question. It reminds me of questions very few people asked 80 years ago when Mussolini came to power in Italy. Other questions that went unasked back then: "Is sucking down smoke all day long bad for me?" "Is it a bad idea to buy radioactive beauty cream?" "Is cocaine really the best remedy for indigestion?!" People sure were dumb back then.

Months ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, I think you should laugh, love, and go with the flow - and do that with gusto! Don't sweat the small stuff. Kiss all the girls. Boys or whichever you prefer, but remember to laugh. - Bob. Pervert! If we allow laughing, then we'll have to allow cackling. Maybe even guffawing. I refuse to go down

I think I may have a Jekyll-and-Hyde personality, Dr. Kapuchnik. I'd say you're more like Dr. Demento and Mr. Potato Head, Al.

Vancouver, you're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Would you people please stop saying you're "moving to Canada"? We Canadians pride ourselves on not being the United States. We can't keep doing that if half the United States moves up here. That's it ... We're coming next Tuesday. We'll be moving in right next door to you and playing loud music at all hours. If you think America will abide being told what to do, you don't understand America. If you move to Canada, Canada's moving to the Nor

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

Spike Milligan

Not-so-easy listening...

Men discussing a book on a chat show

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? What's with that senseless riot in Baltimore? What do you mean? America has a long history of self-destructive riots in response to police brutality. It's senseless to call it senseless. A city is like a human body. If you feed a body an awful diet of abuse and unaccountable cops, that body's eventually going to have a massive coronary. In short: Learn your history! And eat oatmeal! Oat ... What? What are you talking about?

"Well I think the Real question is..."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

Books recommended by Oprah and Howard Stern.

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.