Radio Chatter Champion Gifts

"He sure could talk on the C.B. radio."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Couples' therapy

WHO checklist

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"How long has your husband gone through life with these 'blinders' on?"

'HEY,no Tongue!'

Dadonomics

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

'I'll slap the both of you if you don't knock off the chit chat.'

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

Full Of Beans

"Before we got married you said you were oversexed."

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

"I can't remember if I didn't like his second book or his second wife."

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'

Small Talk Outlet

"Apparently women use twice as many words per day as men do."

"Hello... I will be your instructor for this assertiveness training course... that is... I mean... if you don't mind!"

'I'm going to restate what he just said - especially the part about my being a good listener.'

"He can't stop digressing."

"Shall I fry it or flush it?"

'I'm in the bog!'