Cellphone Chatter Champion Gifts

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Couples' therapy

WHO checklist

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

Hot Line

'Are you in here tonight?'

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

Dadonomics

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

'HEY,no Tongue!'

"How long has your husband gone through life with these 'blinders' on?"

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

'I'll slap the both of you if you don't knock off the chit chat.'

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

"Before we got married you said you were oversexed."

New Space Shuttle Mission: Deployment of the First Orbiting Telemarketer

Small Talk Outlet

"Apparently women use twice as many words per day as men do."

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'

"I can't remember if I didn't like his second book or his second wife."