Racket Rival Pillows

Ratminton

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

The Sculptor

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

The Off-Season

I love tennis

'Big advantage!!'

"Now if he'll just swallow one more paddle we'll be set."

'It's an old badminton injury.'

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

'Let's practice lobs again.'

'That's 12 games in a row. As my best friend, it wouldn't kill you to let me win one every once in awhile.'

'for what we are about to receive...'

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

"Umm. . . Hello? I'm over here!"

"How do you respond to critics who say you only play the backcourt?"

'The swelling well receed in a few days and the racket should slide right off.'

"That settles it, John! We're getting this bike a tune-up!"

"Pickleballers – one mile away."

'...I was aced, defaced, disgraced and replaced.'

I love badminton.

"Now I want a clean fight and no head butting."

'Look here Frobisher, you've adhered to the rules. You haven't cheated, self-aggrandised or whined about money. That's rather unsportsmanlike of you.'

"I still think badminton is as fast as tennis..."

Anyone for tennis?

"Too bad you didn't wake from uneasy dreams to find yourself transformed into a better pickleball player!"