Racket Sports Pillows

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'for what we are about to receive...'

"Did you win your squash game?"

The Off-Season

"Watch out for his chainsaw serve."

"Too bad you didn't wake from uneasy dreams to find yourself transformed into a better pickleball player!"

"Now if he'll just swallow one more paddle we'll be set."

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

'It's an old badminton injury.'

Anyone for tennis?

Ratminton

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

I love tennis

'Big advantage!!'

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

'Let's practice lobs again.'

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

'That's 12 games in a row. As my best friend, it wouldn't kill you to let me win one every once in awhile.'

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

"Umm. . . Hello? I'm over here!"

'He wasn't too keen on you returning his serves.'

'The swelling well receed in a few days and the racket should slide right off.'

'...I was aced, defaced, disgraced and replaced.'

I love badminton.

'Could you help me on my grunting.'

"I still think badminton is as fast as tennis..."

'Look here Frobisher, you've adhered to the rules. You haven't cheated, self-aggrandised or whined about money. That's rather unsportsmanlike of you.'

'Please give up badminton and take up squash or something.'

'Anyone for doubles?'

"Watch out for his back hand."

Table Tennis

'I'm umpiring the game - lifeguard's over there.'