Racket Sport Aficionado Pillows

"Too bad you didn't wake from uneasy dreams to find yourself transformed into a better pickleball player!"

"Now if he'll just swallow one more paddle we'll be set."

'I'm umpiring the game - lifeguard's over there.'

Tennis player

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Ratminton

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

Football.

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

Fox hunting.

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

Soccer player being showered with toilet roles and a toilet.

"Would you like something by an over promoted high-price athlete or a nobody from Jersey?"