Racket Sport Fanatic Pillows

"I couldn't find my safety glasses."

'It's deuce - not your advantage, Mr Klutchem...'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"I need to tinkle."

Go team!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Ratminton

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

Ball as water-melon.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Cricket Accidents.

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

Hockey Season.

'We're looking for athletic people.'

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'...I don't like your chances!'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

'You do realize you're no longer a pro athlete and there is no preseason to work out the kinks, don't you?'