Racket Sport Aficionado Gifts

"Too bad you didn't wake from uneasy dreams to find yourself transformed into a better pickleball player!"

"Now if he'll just swallow one more paddle we'll be set."

'I'm umpiring the game - lifeguard's over there.'

Tennis player

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Pete Sampras

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Ratminton

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

Cristiano Ronaldo

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

Football.

Fox hunting.

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."