Racing Realist Gifts

The why-can't-this-event-be-in-miles-like-other-sports-on-this-country 10K.

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'My feet are killing me.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Ancient Racing

"I need to tinkle."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Go! Means NOW!

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Bob's Driving School.

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

Knight in shining Lycra!

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

Snail Racing

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

The polar olympics

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

Tractor Racing

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

Birthday Racing Car