Racecourse Rangers Gifts

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

Run, Mike, Run!

Valentino Rossi (the Doctor)

'I like the look of that Trojan Boy.'

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

'On your mark, get set...'

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.

The steeple-chase. Man reads a sign stating that no horseman is allowed to follow the racehorses over the course.

'Your wife borrowed the car.'

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'I'd bet that with that race engine, you could beat anybody to the neighborhood grocery store.'

'So you've won a few races: I still don't think you need worry about the paparazzi!'

Competitive Horse at the Racetracks.

'I'm bringing it into the pit! The DVD player conked out in the middle of 'Little Miss Sunshine'.'

"...and those are cheese and cucumber..."

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

"The last one to The Four Seasons picks up the check."

Professional runners chasing money

"On your mark, get set, go!"

'Remember the plan: on the final stretch, you go down.'

Man with 'starter pistol' mugs runners.

"That settles it, John! We're getting this bike a tune-up!"

-Last again! -I had to stay behind the others because I didn't know the way!

"I like the look of this steamer in the 2.30."

Clancy:Breaking Even at the Races

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

'Come on, let me win today: It's my jockey's birthday!'

Back seat race car drivers.

'It gives me great pleasure in presenting you with the jockey of the year award.'

'This should be interesting.'

Monday Hurdle

The Tour de Pants.