Racecourse Renegade Gifts

"I thought you fancied the favourite."

"OK, ready to go again?"

Queen of Upcycling!

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"Well, guys... I guess we'll just have to ask Siri where we are." "No! Don't do that!" "Yeah! We know exactly what we're doing!" "Dude! Have you forgotten our credo?" "Society for the refusal to ask for directions."

Tractor Racing

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

Ready for a run!

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

"Give him his food."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

House hunting is cruel.

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'Deer and Game Crossing'.

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'But this IS my mobile home!'

"Are you telling me you won't even ask the computerized navigational system for directions?"

Solar Storm Expected!

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."

Complaints (just kidding).

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

Godfrey Hunting for Lodgings

The lessor of two evils.

'I may not be an expert, but I know an ill-sighted wind turbine when I hear one!'

Mary Quant.