Race Spectator Giggler Pillows

"He's come out of retirement!"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'I win!'

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Sniffathon: The Dog world's version of a Kissathon

'Costume - What costume?'

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

Hockey Goal

Only horse I know that likes to start out of the crouch. 6 3.

Stretcher Header.

Finish. What do you mean YOU won the Iditarod?!

'I just flew in from Los Angeles, and boy are my arms wings...!'

Ladder in a lift shard.

"Fancy biting your gold medal just because a photographer told you to."

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."

"That rotten smell? That's my spoiler."

"Lady!!! Could we turn down the A.C.?!"

'The first Santa to consume one thousand warm beers and one thousand pieces of fruit cake without barfing wins the Santa apprenticeship!'

"He should've passed the puck."

You didn't tell me it was iTheatre...

'Why didn't he stop the ball?'

'He's the long shot!'

Small child in goal is propelled into the air with burst football

Children and cat crashing on cart

"How did the marathon go?"

"Are you sure this sport is now drug free?"

'I guess this is the interpretation I requested.'

'Ye olde optician.'

Goalie saves a boot instead of a football.

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

'Your goalie is out with the flu, I'm a temp, ,,, So, what's the object of this little game'

'OK. Let's see your slapshot.'

"Income tax has created more liars than golf and porn put together."