Quirky Race Participant Pillows

'Costume - What costume?'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

Snail Coach

Sniffathon: The Dog world's version of a Kissathon

Skier.

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"Your serve is basically good, it's just you're doing something funny right at the very end."

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

Tug the Toggle

'No, thanks. I'm fine.'

Tortoise & Hare.

'Something comfortable and yet… unexpected. I like to run amok.'

'Ah, a stepping stone to success.'

Downhill taxidermy never made it past the trial stages of the Olympics.

"It doesn't matter what the score is. When kids play, they play to learn sportsmanship, teamwork and the benefits of physical activity."

Bobsleigh practice.

Using a javelin to remove a tooth.

After 10 years, the great potato race of 1997 was finally declared a tie.

"He's come out of retirement!"

'Who's idea was it to run backwards to Christmas for charity?'

'The first Santa to consume one thousand warm beers and one thousand pieces of fruit cake without barfing wins the Santa apprenticeship!'

As Jeff cycled up the hill he realised he was in the wrong gear.

Baseball signs.

Unwarrantedball

'I must say, that's the most pathetic bar promotion I've ever seen.'

A man running on top of water