Raccoon Hat Wearer Gifts

'What raccoon hat?'

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

'It runs on batteries. I'm trying to become more green.'

Rubbish Carousel

"Overkill, dude."

'I work at the airport.'

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"Oh, that looks fantastic! Honey, doesn’t that look delicious?!"

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

'Ok, bad idea. Everyone TAKE OFF their thinking caps.'

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

"Did you order takeout?"

"The garbage cans were hung by the chimney with care..."

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

'Can you prove it's your hat?'

"We have raccoons."

'Hon, is tonight Trash Night?'

Raccoon receiving IV of garbage.

"No thanks. I'm a junk food cleanse this week."

Good cop, bad cop 2020.

"Omigod, you have such a cute smile!"

Double Rain Protection

A raccoon is hooked up to a trashcan IV.

'You had me at Hello... copter hat.'

'You wouldn't get these stomach aches if you chewed your food properly.'

'I found him on the internet.'

'Whoa, hey, guys! Where are you going?! I was just brushing my teeth, see!'

Sushi hats

"I decided to move my mask."

"You gotta teach me that trick."

Before baseball, raccooning enjoyed a brief stint as the national pastime.

"Talk about a dream job...he's a garbage man."