Quirky Venue Lover Gifts

"Is this a junk shop that sells coffee or a coffee shop that sells junk?"

"I love you, you big fool."

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

"Dammit, Hopkins... It's the fiscal new year!"

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'Our financial troubles are over, Edna. The fellas and I have formed a boy band.'

'Is there an empty apartment I can use for cultural events?'

"Your usual? Listen, pal—you can't expect me to remember every customer's drink."

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

Spoonstock.

"They listen to weird music, dress funny and you don't dare go into the bathroom after they've been in there!"

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.

An elderly couple arrive at Kiddie Pool Buffet, where people are wearing swim suits etc. and serving food from the pool itself.

Seth Schubert, Concert Harmonicist

"I guess I thought 'Andy and the blenders' was a band."

"I love what you've done with that punch bowl Reginald!"

"What?!"

A sign in the front window of a bookstore says "Meet the Pope 2 p.m."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

Crater Lake Annual Yogurt Guzzle! This year's flavor: Raspberry Marijuana.

Cello player with arrow instead of bow.

Mitch performs in front of an oddience.

Somewhere in West Virginia

"I didn't know this was a formal event."

The smallest pub in Britain was a 'bit choosy' about who they would let in!

Leon's Auto Salvage and Center for Interpretive Dance