Quirky Venue Seeker Gifts

'Is there an empty apartment I can use for cultural events?'

An elderly couple arrive at Kiddie Pool Buffet, where people are wearing swim suits etc. and serving food from the pool itself.

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Dinner at the Trapdoors

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Family members!

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"Static cling."

Unicorn Working From Home

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

'Goodness, the potholes are deep this year, aren't they?'

'Bed & Bagel'

Bear who goes drinking instead of hibernating

Drinking Companions

Urine Catcher

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'See, there are no people in your closet. Now, go to sleep!'

Nit and Flea picking 'Next please...'

"Any other skills?"

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

Portrait of Shakespeare smoking.

Celebrate National Submarine Day.

Pioneers of the ancient west

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

'Honda has recalled the U.S. Sixth Fleet due to leaky sunroofs.'

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

Successful killers use gas powered chainsaws only.

If you play this record backwards you can hear xmas carols and heavenly choirs...

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"