Quirky Valentine Gifts

You had me at 'BLLLLUUUURRRPPPP!'

This ain't no cupboard love.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Carbon Dating.

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"I have such strong feelers for you."

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

Carbon Dating

Consenting Adults.

"And you wanted to throw me back."

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

Storage Unit of Love

Banana Smoothie

'I love your spindly legs, your tiny pinhead and your bulging thorax - marry me!'

"You need a mint."

'A corsage! How sweet of you!! It's delicious!!! '

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

Happy Valentine's Day.

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

'I even love the way you snore!'

Didgeridoos

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

"Of course we were made for each other. We were cloned in a laboratory!"

"It's serious. We've had each other's tracking numbers tattooed on our bottoms."

This is very sweet, Phil, but no, I don't want to buy a violin from you.

His suggestion of a suicide pact was not altogether what she was expecting.

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'