Quirky Valentine Gifts

You had me at 'BLLLLUUUURRRPPPP!'

This ain't no cupboard love.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Carbon Dating.

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"I have such strong feelers for you."

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

Carbon Dating

Consenting Adults.

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

Banana Smoothie

Storage Unit of Love

"And you wanted to throw me back."

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

"You need a mint."

Happy Valentine's Day.

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

'I even love the way you snore!'

'A corsage! How sweet of you!! It's delicious!!! '

Didgeridoos

"Of course we were made for each other. We were cloned in a laboratory!"

Eskimo putting fake snow on his Christmas tree

"It's serious. We've had each other's tracking numbers tattooed on our bottoms."

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

His suggestion of a suicide pact was not altogether what she was expecting.