Quirky Talents Gifts

“If I had known I could hold my breath so long I could have made money as a side show attraction instead of borrowing from the mob.”

Albert Einstein

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

Anna Calvi

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'He's maturing early.'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Texturing the Walls

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

The earlier, less publicized discovery of gravity by Corblatt.

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

"Dad, my web toon characters can't be normal! They have to be stereotyped crazies who are totally abnormal!"

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

'Mind if I join you?'

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

Children's Book Publisher. It should be good for lots or repeat sales

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

"Any other skills?"

"Hire him. You can't teach shadows like that."

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

Annoying xylophone solicitors.