Quirky Performer Gifts

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

Piano Player

Woman playing piano with her feet.

"I owe my success to him. I figured, if he can make it, so can I."

Musician with eyepatch

The man who could throw his voice.

Do something that takes your mind off smoking.

Triangle busker.

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Man with one tooth blowing smoke rings.

Man Puts on Rubber Gloves to Play Piano

Trapeze Dates

The Dancing Academy

"No-chance the rapper"

Alison Pill

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'He's maturing early.'

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Optimist

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

'Personally I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables.'

Texturing the Walls

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"