Quirky Performer Appreciator Gifts

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Anna Calvi

'He's maturing early.'

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'Yes, Super-Supreme pizza... Delivered please...'

"Hire him. You can't teach shadows like that."

The songwriter who wrote a bridge about his bridge.

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

The Dancing Academy

A true musician will learn to improvise when his instrument is in the pawn shop.

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"I owe my success to him. I figured, if he can make it, so can I."

Tom Mullica.

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

Long necked giraffe playing long saxophone

"No-chance the rapper"

Adult Magician

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

"I don't get you. You can soft shoe, play the ukulele and juggle, but you can't fetch a pair of slippers."

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

Jumbo in Henrik Ibsen's The Wild Duck

'My mum can play the piano by ear.'

OWZAT...The beer-mat-flipping champion sets a new world record!

"My daughter tells me that you work in the entertainment industry?"

"Are you binge watching again?"

'Dr Seuss is awarded a PHD.'

'...open beer bottles with his teeth.'

"Okay. . . Where DID the elephant go?. . ."

Alison Pill

'Mentoring requires many sophisticates qualities and skills...'

'I like your style - How would you like to do some public service announcements?'

The man who could throw his voice.

Musician with eyepatch