Quirky Talents Pillows

“If I had known I could hold my breath so long I could have made money as a side show attraction instead of borrowing from the mob.”

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'He's maturing early.'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

Texturing the Walls

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

"Dad, my web toon characters can't be normal! They have to be stereotyped crazies who are totally abnormal!"

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

A dog whose nose is a gun.

"Any other skills?"

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

"Hire him. You can't teach shadows like that."