Quirky Show Fan Pillows

"That's what I call an off-off-off-off-off Broadway show!"

'It's a spinoff from the Weather Channel.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Theatre Masks and Butts

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Introducing...Anagraman.

Jarvis Cocker

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'Check out the old dude.'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

The Pencil and Sharpener

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"He's deliciously vintage."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Hot cross buns

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

'I like the litter box...but the pool has gotta go !'

Mouse with a cat cake.