Quirky Service Seekers Gifts

Street merchants 'Hair wraps' 'Henna Tattoos' 'Colonic irrigation'

"Nihilistic customer service"

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

Urine Catcher

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

'My resume,...in rap form!'

COVID tips from Wild Animals

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

'I think I've finally found my own niche.'

"You owe us more than your house is worth. One of our depositors will be moving in with you to help even things out."

Kid sells Acai Berry Juice at stand free trial.

"And now for a long hard look at the changing profile of High Street Banking."

"Vending machine is junk. For $1.00 I'll beat on it for you."

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

'Looks like the sexton position is still vacant.'

"This job involves travel? Let me call my parole officer and OK it with him."

'I'd prefer to work from home. I'm under house arrest.'

Air fresheners being pumped into the city's sewers.

"Stop the barking .50"

Curse of the mutant gene.

"How about wearing heavier shoes?"

Let's see... Graduated from Notre Dame... Majored in bell ringing... Minored in stair climbing... Busted your hump for 3 years at the Frank & Stein facility conducting a brain research - Looks like you accidentally crossed out the 'R-E'. Heh.

'This accountant will do.'