Quirky Services Lover Gifts

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

"I love you, you big fool."

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

"Great tights!"

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

'As a hairdresser, I must say you take it a bit far.'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

The Mad Hatter finally gets taken down.

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

Freak Family.

"So, Mr. Igor - why do you want to be a laboratory assistant?"

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

Bob's Heart Valves 'N' Stuff (store is open)

Flatware Follies.

'No, it's not one of those fake arrows. I had my head pierced.'

'Never mind what big eyes I have. Just get on with the bloody eye test!'

Ass-less Chaps

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

"No, it's not a religion or a cult. It's a fashion statement."

For years Melenie stayed home waiting for the stirrup cords revival.

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

Toilet Tissue Typist.

Piano tuning shop in desert - "Ok, so I'll do a bit more market research next time."

Man sees pull cord: 'It must be one of those start-up companies.'

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

Paradox in the Wardrobe...The mango mail-order boxy pants were very, very, very roomy as advertised, and yet they were somehow confining.

"Is this some kind of a put-on or what?"

"What did you expect from a budget airline?"

Street merchants 'Hair wraps' 'Henna Tattoos' 'Colonic irrigation'