Quirky Salary Analyst Gifts

Man surrounded by paperclips - 'He just saw them as part of his salary...'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Great British Eccentrics.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

'Mind if I join you?'

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

Children's Book Publisher. It should be good for lots or repeat sales

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Get me a young fella-me-lad with a jib I like the cut of."

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

Pam collected ceramic pigs. Just one so far, but even that seemed like too many.

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

Animal worries.

"You should consider buying."

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

Selling salt lick lollipops to reindeers.

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."

"I've designed the logo for your new social media app. It's a dirty laundry basket."

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.