Quirky Salary Analyst Gifts

Man surrounded by paperclips - 'He just saw them as part of his salary...'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Great British Eccentrics.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

"Get me a young fella-me-lad with a jib I like the cut of."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

Animal worries.

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

"You should consider buying."

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

Pam collected ceramic pigs. Just one so far, but even that seemed like too many.

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

'Of course I have to poke people, Mom! It's my job!'

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

"I've designed the logo for your new social media app. It's a dirty laundry basket."

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

Selling salt lick lollipops to reindeers.

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."