Quirky Hiring Gifts

"Get me a young fella-me-lad with a jib I like the cut of."

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

Urine Catcher

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

"Any other skills?"

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

Selling salt lick lollipops to reindeers.

"I've designed the logo for your new social media app. It's a dirty laundry basket."

'Scoutmasters aren't usually used as references.'

'Of course I have to poke people, Mom! It's my job!'

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

'Ignore that, my pen leaked...'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

Vincent Van Gogh has an epiphany

'I see Charlie's moonlighting again.'

'...No it's Malcom from ***** after someone with autocad experience in elecro-mechanical design.'

What the Person Sitting Next to You at Starbucks is 'Working On'