Quirky Relationship Expert Gifts

"It started as a little harmless tree-hugging and sort of grew from there."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"Just tell us who's winning."

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

"Does it say 'I'm ovulating'?"

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"All parents fight."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

"Yes, this is exactly how wars start—because of someone's insensitivity!"

When boomerangs argue.

'Muriel and I were like two ships passing in the night -- I was boarded, plundered, and scuttled!'

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Ah-ha! Just in time to make my dinner!"