Quirky Quacker T-Shirts

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Best before 65 million BC.

Funky Facts: Football.

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

Football Crazy strip six

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"What would you like me to play next?"

Ostrich Curoisities

Robber on treadmill

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

Real Estate Personals

Children's Book Publisher. It should be good for lots or repeat sales

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Bald man with a brush on his head

Kid goes to Hideaway Bakery and sees a sign for a sale on upside down cakes. Cakes are upside down.

'What's wrong with you?'

Fred questions whether Dr. McWit's Quick Draw Stress Tests are AMA approved.

I always feel so short when you wear heels.

"Nah. I'm a crow. Some jerk put bleach in the birdbath."