Quirky Pool Owner Gifts

"You didn't think I'd build this expensive pool and not stock it, did you?"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

'Distracting the fish.'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"The pH level seems a little off."

Synchronized Diving: 10 & under division.

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

Chick Billiard Ball

'... Get set... Wait! We forgot the water!'

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

Swim meet - sharks vs. humans

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

A child plots to frighten his father with a fake shark fin.

'When I said shock the pool, I meant with chlorine!'

Junk Mail Shredder.

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

'Stu and I joined the Adopt-A-Highway program.'

I don't care if it's a better workout, I'm not wearing ankle weights.

Diving into a Fake Pool

'I don't care if your mother did insist you wear it to swimming lessons, go and take it off!'

"I decided to buy a tiny house."

A women is testing her House to see if it's Pregnant with a 'Home Pregnancy Test' kit

"I filled your pool with anitbacterial soap. It's just until the swine flu alert is over."

Jello in the diving pool.

'Wow! I thought that Charlie was just horsing around.'

"I love being my own boss, but I hate being my own employee."