Quirky Message Lover Gifts

Massage? Phone Suzy written on hand towel

The home of the memory man.

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

"I love you, you big fool."

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

'I see an applicant being hired!'

Inuit post arriving by parachute.

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'I even love the way you snore!'

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'Don't be silly - I love you for your body AND your tiny little brain!'

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

The social isolation of the entomologist...

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

"Would you describe your gall as mitigated or unmitigated?"

"Ooh, this one sounds interesting, 'Single, vegetarian, bulbous, with moves like a lava lamp'."

'Ssssssh! There it is again. Hear that? It sounds like a muffled scream.'

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

Wow, that's really a thing of beauty! Have you ever thought about being a uvula model?

Your shoulders are like silk. For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.

'What are you doing at the weekend?'

"Yes, crazy does sometimes beat sane... but rarely during a job interview."

"He has a limited vocabulary - but boy, can he kiss..!"

"I found you running wild. Ungroomed and lacking social skills. Today, you're a trophy partner."

A chemist misunderstanding the request of a lady after a way to clean gloves.

"I think mine likes yours, too!"

'I daren't take my hat off - If I do, the voices in my head might escape!'

The M.R.I. of Love

Why 25% of greeting card writers don't make the grade...