Quirky Menu Explorer T-Shirts

"I'll have the creamed corn, hold the corn."

Today's special - Ox tail soup.

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Coffee

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Whatever he's eating.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Coffee Menu

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

Heart Disease Menu

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'